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I haven’t ranted in awhile. Let’s do that.

Before you begin reading this rant, please read this article on BuzzFeed (all right, I’m using a very loose definition of “article”): http://www.buzzfeed.com/robynwilder/fat-pets-that-are-going-to-bootcamp

Did you laugh? Yeah, that’s okay, I did too. But then I was horribly, horribly disgusted and slightly outraged.

Fat is not okay.

Husky

This is funny, but it is not an excuse. Do not disguise fat. You’re not fooling anyone.

Fat really isn’t okay on people, but that’s your body and you do what you want with it. I’m not particularly fit myself. But like I said, that’s my body and I’ll do what I want with it.

But you feed your pet. Honestly, I have, on more than one occasion, listened to Shelby flip her bowl (that’s her way of indicating she is dissatisfied with the amount of food I have given her) and thought to myself, “Bitch, please, I wish I had someone to monitor my intake like you do.”

Shelby sunset

I mean just look at that waistline! What I would do for a defined, toned shape like that!

Women – how many times have you said to yourself: I wish I had a personal chef who could cook me absolutely scrumptious food that was healthy? And men – how many times have you thought: If I could only afford a personal trainer to kick my ass into gear I’d be ripped?

Guess what y’all – we get to be BOTH of those things for our dogs. I know, neat, right?

So why is it that there are so many morbidly obese dogs and cats running around? Why is there actually a reality TV show dedicated to sending companion animals to fat camp? When I read the article above, my jaw dropped. You.Can’t.Be.Serious. This is real?

I’ve written about the important of physical exercise for companion animals before, which you can read here, but a lot of it has to do with diet. We, as a nation, feed our pets shit food. Read about that here. Grain, especially, seems to really help our pets pack on the pounds. I mean, corn, seriously?

But at the end of the day, you can feed your pet shit food and not exercise him/her and if you’re just a TAD bit diligent you can still keep your pet from becoming overweight. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure right?

How, you ask? I dunno, maybe, you know, LOOK at your animal once in awhile. Is Fluffy packing on a few pounds? Okay, maybe cut back on his food a tad. Got a counter surfer? Good news, they make these things called cabinets and locks and Tupperware containers and refrigerators where you can put easily accessible food, you know, away. It’ll help your training too.

If I see your dog is fat, I’ll likely call you out on it. Don’t be surprised by that. And DON’T you dare call him fluffy, hairy, husky, squishy, soft, big boned, muscular or any of the other ridiculous words we’ve come up to disguise the fact that fat is fat. I will roll my eyes and respond with one word, “Obese.”

And a special note to the shepherd people – bigger is NOT better. If you are parading around on Facebook talking about your “big and beautiful” 150 pound shepherd, I will cringe and try to make the horror show go away. For the love of God, their f’ing HIPS!

And for the record, I will not be watching the pet fat camp show, not even if they start showing it in the US.

 

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