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I probably should have written this rant earlier as it is one of my all-time, biggest pet peeves in the dog world, but lucky enough a wonderful dog forum caused me to revisit the hate I have for this subject, bringing you this blog.

You’ve probably seen it before – the post where a dog owner puts up a picture or description of his/her dog suffering from some horrible malady and asks, “Have you seen this before? What should I do?” Examples include the dog owner who posts a photograph of a bone sticking out of his/her dog’s leg and asks, “I think it’s broken, what should I do?” Or the dog owner who says, “Help! Emergency situation! My dog just drank half a gallon of bleach! What should I do?” Or the BYB claiming to be a hobby breeder who states, “One of the puppies isn’t breathing, what should I do?”

Every time I see a post like this I want to slam my head into a brick wall. Actually, I want to slam the poor excuse for a dog owner’s head into a brick wall. Gee…I don’t know, did you consider ya’know, taking your dog to the damn vet? Did you think about that? At all? Even a little bit?

No, you didn’t. What did you do instead? You took a picture of that horrible situation your dog is in, while he looked up with you with his big, pleading eyes, begging you to fix him, and you posted it on the internet for a group of random strangers to tell you how you should handle it. Let’s see now…Do you know any of these people? Maybe you know a couple. Are they vets? No? Okay, great. What about the strangers? Are they vets? No? Awesome. Oh maybe one is a vet tech! Wonderful, not understating a vet tech, but is he/she a GOOD vet tech? You have no idea? Freaking fabulous.

Let me put this nice and easy: If it seems serious and you’re soliciting strangers’ advice on the internet, do your dog a favor and take him/her to the vet. Stop being a cheap ass, you took on this life, take care of it.

Case and point. The post that brought you this rant included a picture of the dog owner’s poor dog whose face had swollen so badly that he couldn’t open his left eye. He looked like a Salvador Dali painting, I’m not joking. And this owner included text too, just in case we didn’t notice the melting, “My dog’s face is swollen [author’s comment: no shit Sherlock] Have any of you seen this before? It’s getting worse too. What did you do for it? What could it be?”

Do you know who could probably tell you? A vet. Get off the internet, get your dog in your car and drive as fast as you can to the nearest one. Seriously, that shit did not look healthy. If my face looked like that I would be beyond concerned.

Elephant Man

If your dog’s face looks like this guy’s (and it didn’t look that way when you went to bed) take your dog to the damn vet. – Image courtesy Wikipedia, that’s the Elephant Man, btw.

And this post was actually a wee bit better than the others, because in this one, most of the people commenting answered with, “Take your dog to the vet,” and other variations of the theme. Internet dog world, I applaud you!


I salute you! – Image courtesy: http://www.reactiongifs.us

There are others I have seen though…oh are there others…the ones where a dog CLEARLY needs immediate medical attention and you have a bunch of half-witted baboons trying to argue raw diet and vaccine protocols when the simple answer is, “If your dog is throwing up blood, take him/her to the VET! Worry about diet later, he’s DYING now.”


Seriously, this is what I think about when I see hijacked threads like this. Don’t be like this. – Image courtesy: http://www.thorninpaw.com

But the internet has trolls, we all know that.


No, not that kind, remember these guys though? I had a troll party when I was three, or was it four? – Image courtesy: collider.com

internet troll

This kind. Jeez what is it with me and the f’ed up face guys today? – Image courtesy: markbennis.hubpages.com

You may even argue I’m being a bit of a troll right now, but it’s passive aggressive trolling as in, I haven’t hijacked a thread and turned a question about a dog with a swollen face into an argument about terrorism or Obama, and this is my space, so if you don’t like it, you can leave. Wow…where did that come from? I must have read too much about the LinkedIn lady today.

Where was I? Oh yes, the internet has trolls who will turn anything into an “I am smarter than you” competition, so what are you people posting serious medical problems on the internet for? Instead of dealing with the trolls and the conflicting advice, why not spend a little bit of money on your dog and take him/her to the vet, you know, like a responsible dog owner and a decent human being. Stimulate the economy some, help that poor sucker pay off his crippling student loans.

And finally – if you’re posting questions like this on dog forums instead of taking your dog to the vet can I ask you something? Do you even LIKE your dog?