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Well, my last post on snap judgments regarding ecollars, prong collars and choke chains proved to be a sort of stress reliever for me, a joking way to vent about something that really genuinely does drive me crazy. So I decided to move along with the trend. Don’t worry, for those of you hanging in on this blog because you actually wanted to read about training and particularly herding training, we’ll be getting back to that, because the Doodle monster and I will be attending a full day clinic at Raspberry Ridge tomorrow! Yey! Lots of good stuff on the way! In the meantime, let me share with you my snap judgments on dog food and the people who purchase certain dog foods.

I was in the grocery store a couple days ago when I went down one of the grocery store aisles I never go down – the pet supply aisle. I never go down this aisle because I would never purchase dog treats, dog food, cat treats or cat food from the grocery store. Nuh uh, ain’t gonna do it. On this particular day though, I was out of cat litter but nothing else, this very rarely happens in my household, that I run out of one pet supply and don’t need something else. So I found myself in the pet supply aisle. On the dog end of the aisle, I saw a woman with her daughter. The woman was scrutinizing the front of a 25 pound bag of $9 kibble. Let me say that again – the front of the bag. I slowed down and meandered toward the cat products while keeping an eye on this woman and her child who could only have been about 8 years old and was already working on quite an impressive beer belly.

Okay, I know dog food is controversial. There are people bickering about raw diets and grain free food and limited ingredients and meat processing and fillers and fish from China. When I saw this woman investigating the front of a $9 bag of grocery store kibble I felt like gathering all of those bickering people into a room and saying, “Guys, shut the hell up and HELP this poor woman.” Yeah, you don’t have problems. SHE has problems.

While I fantasized about that, I started to contemplate what her dog looked like. I figured she probably had a stout, hardy, easy keeper type dog, like a Beagle, probably an obese Beagle. She had never tangled with a dog like a poorly bred German shepherd, who has a propensity for allergies and skin conditions and stomach twists and stomach cramps and doesn’t eat anything that doesn’t cost half of your mortgage payment. Judging by her child, I figured she probably fed crap to her stout, easy keeper type child as well. Definitely a fat Beagle owner.

Look, I know that prices are not always an indication of quality, but if you’re buying a $9 bag of dog food in the grocery store I can GUARANTEE you that you are doing something bad to your dog. And why was she looking at the FRONT of the bag anyway? I mean, I stood there and watched her for at least 3 solid minutes while she pulled the bag out, looked at the front, put it back in, pulled it back out. I mean what, are you hoping that the cartoon dog on the front of the bag is going to jump out at you and tell you something you didn’t know about the garbage that’s contained within? All you need to know is that it is absolute shit. Step away from the bag and put your hands in the air.

Seriously! I walk down the dog food aisle at the grocery store and just think to myself, “Death. Liver failure. Organ shutdown. Death. Diarrhea. Puking. Skin irritation. Self mutilation caused by itchiness. Death.”

I was at Target not too long ago, and I read some of the ingredients on the back of the treats sold there. One bag which claimed to be “chicken treats” and boasted that they were, “All natural, organic ingredients, made in USA!” did not even list CHICKEN as an ingredient. I’m not f’ing with you. I literally started laughing in the middle of the store. And when an older woman came up behind me to remove a bag of these, I immediately judged her. That woman has a Shih Tzu from a puppy mill that she loves dearly and is her whole world and when the dog food with shit ingredients kills precious Fluffy she still won’t change her dog food habits because some commercial during her story told her that it’s the best damn dog food in the whole wide world and no we don’t use horse meat, because we don’t use anything that could pass for meat at all!

Which gets me started on treats. As you all know, I’m a positive reinforcement trainer. I train my dogs using little treats, chicken, cheese, peanut butter, and one kind of purchased training treat that is pre-approved because even though I think it’s garbage, you have got to give your dogs some potato chips sometimes (and yes, they do get actual potato chips on occasion as well, I’m not a purist). But if I see you rewarding Fido with a Milk Bone or a Canine Carry Out, I will immediately think less of you. I know, it’s shallow of me, but I will. And so will Joe. He thought less of one of my best friends when her dad pulled a Canine Carry Out out of the fridge to treat their German shepherd. The first thing Joe said to me when we got in the car to leave was, “Haven’t you told them about the treats?”

Really people. Get with the program. Go argue with some raw diet feeders and learn something. Until you do, I will continue to judge you.

Oh and to the woman in the vet’s office arguing with the vet tech about putting her dog on a vegan diet, because she doesn’t believe in the killing of animals, you’re an idiot. And your dog is a carnivore, and you’re going to kill it with your soy bran whatever. Go get him a hamburger and shut up.

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